


My Cheerleader Is an Angel, He Can Even Fly

by canyonlights



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Absent Parents, Alternate Universe - High School, American Football, Americans, Chan is literally my favourite character I want him as a friend, Cheerleaders, Crushes, Family Drama, I hope this isn’t as cliche as it sounds, It will be tagged in chapters where it comes up!, Junhui is a nerd and Minghao is a nice cheerleader, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Minor character death prior to story, Nerdiness, Pining, Promise it’s well written and knew, References to Hamlet, References to Shakespeare, Sarcasm, borderline crack?, i ain’t Korean so I’m gonna write what I know, im a nerd who loves me a Shakespeare insult kids, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-03-23 14:32:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13789722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canyonlights/pseuds/canyonlights
Summary: Some people might call it stalking. Some people already did call it stalking. Junhui liked to call his activities “admiring from afar”.He wasn't creepy, no, he definitely wasn't some pervert lusting after a teenage cheerleader. First, he was a teenager himself so it wasn't really that creepy and second, no one could really blame him when he was admiring the one and only Xu Minghao from afar.(A cliche cheerleader drama but gay!)





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> Also not proofread (when do I ever post something that’s proofread? Never.).
> 
> This is for Suzi, my enabler. 
> 
> Come yell at me on twt: @flowerboydino

Some people might call it stalking. Some people already did call it stalking. Junhui liked to call his activities “admiring from afar”.

He wasn't creepy, no, he definitely wasn't some pervert lusting after a teenage cheerleader. First, he was a teenager himself so it wasn't really that creepy and second, no one could really blame him when he was admiring the one and only Xu Minghao from afar.

He knows how cliche it sounded and, yes, he thought he was an idiot too. But he genuinely couldn't help admiring Minghao’s shy smiles while he stood in his dark blue cheer uniform with his pompoms at his side. He could help admiring Minghao’s cheer talent while he flipped down the field or completed a perfect stunt. And (again, this was so cliche Junhui wanted to barf) he wasn't a stereotypical cheerleader. He was humble and smart and kind and patient. He probably barely ever talked but when he did, Junhui hung onto every kind word that came out of his mouth.

“Hey. Junhui!” Chan called, clapping his hands in front of Junhui’s face as he called him out of his thoughts. “Are you daydreaming about Minghao again?” He teased. Junhui flushed and looked at his feet as they walked to the bleachers.

His, ahem, crush had not been kept a secret from his friends. Not that he had a lot of friends, purely because that was just his personality, but the two close ones he did have teased him endlessly once they found out. Junhui mentioned it in passing at a sleepover once and they never let it go, especially Soonyoung, who was convinced that Junhui and Minghao would end up together and live happily ever after. Junhui always told him that it didn't work that way, but the excited boy always ignored him.

“Oh so you are thinking about him!” Chan laughed, clapping Junhui on the back. “I knew you didn't come to this game to actually watch the game.” Junhui rolled his eyes and shrugged Chan off of him.

“Shut up!” He grumbled, because he really didn't have a better response. They both knew that Junhui couldn't possibly care less about football. He was just here to watch the cheerleaders on the sidelines.

“When are you actually going to talk to him?” Chan asked as they searched the bleachers for the third member of their trio. Chan spotted him first and they climbed up to the top row and sat down next to a bundle of sweatshirts and scarves wearing a hat with a puffball on top.

“You're kidding right?” Junhui scoffed. “Soonyoung, it's literally the beginning of October. Why are you dressed for February?”

Two eyes peeled out from in between the scarf and the hat and squinted at Junhui. “Well some of us don't have the metabolism of a demigod to keep us warm.” Junhui raised his hands in surrender. He and Chan had always been able to keep warm better than Soonyoung, who was tiny and bouncy no matter how much he denied it.

“Why would I be kidding?” Chan asked, turning back to Junhui now that they had established that their best friend was a tiny hamster with no muscle or body fat to keep him warm.

“Because have you seen him? Have you seen me?” Junhui asked, pointing to the field and then himself. “Pretty, popular cheerleaders don't go out with introverted nerdy boys.”

“How do you know?”

“Chan, I'm not five. Don't lie to me and tell me that the world is a nice place where everyone loves each other and social statuses don't matter,” he chuckled somewhat bitterly.

“Alright…” Chan frowned. “I'm just saying that you should probably talk to him and find out his sexuality if you ever plan on going out with him though.”

“Are you listening to anything I'm saying?”

“Oh I'm listening. I'm just choosing to ignore it.”

“Great. I'm so glad you're such a great listener. You're a wonderful best friend,” Junhui scoffed.

“That's gay,” Soonyoung said, and he actually managed to keep a straight face for all of three seconds before bursting out into a fit of giggles. “Oh that's funny,” he sighed as he word a fake tear from under his eye.

“Why am I friends with you guys?” Junhui asked under his breath. The trio sat at the top of the bleachers until the game started and the cheerleader came out, shaking their pompoms and grinning as they tried to get the crowd excited. Of course, Junhui immediately clapped and responded to their cheers as soon as he saw the little blonde head in the middle of the group.

“Christ, you're so whipped and you haven't even talked to him,” Chan teased. Junhui shoved him so hard that he almost fell off their row of bleachers and on top of the people two rows in front of him.

“How do you like him so much when you don't even know what he is like?” Soonyoung asked. Junhui frowned, because that was a good question.

“I just know, I guess,” he answered with a shrug. “From his behavior. No one talks badly about him, he is humble and doesn't brag to everyone. He obviously works hard or else he wouldn't be as talented or smart as he is. I like that.”

“Plus he is cute,” Chan finished for him.

“Yes,” Junhui laughed, for once agreeing and giving into his friends’ teasing. “He is very cute.”

“If he is as kind as you say he is, they why do you think he won't consider you romantically because of the difference in popularity?” Soonyoung asked.

“Since when did you get all philosophical? And at a football game, no less?” Junhui laughed as they watched the game pass in front of them. Truthfully, Junhui didn't know much about football other than what he was taught in gym class, so he barely followed the game.

“I can be deep!” Soonyoung protested, pouting in offense. Chan and Junhui snorted and Soonyoung went on a rant about how he was very poetic and quite a deep thinker but he always dumbed himself down when they were together so that they could understand them. Junhui tuned him out and watched the cheerleaders again.

Minghao normally stood in the middle of the group in the first of the two rows of cheerleaders. He was always near a tall kid, Mingyu, and a longhaired boy, Jeonghan. Junhui only knew the other two because they were around Minghao constantly. Currently, Mingyu was leaning over to Minghao and whispering something in his ear. Minghao’s bright eyes widened and he giggled softly before glancing at Jeonghan. Apparently he was less than pleased, because the other two boys received smacks to the back of their heads.

Those three were the only cheerleaders that Junhui knew of and liked .They were kind and worked hard, but they were unfortunately joined at the hip. Even if Junhui had hopes and the courage to actually talk to Minghao or once, he wouldn’t be able to get Minghao alone long enough.

“Do you think I’d actually have a shot?” Junhui thought aloud, interrupting Soonyoung’s rant. Both of his friends opened their mouths, ready to shout at him for the millionth time. “No, like actually have a shot. Not in a crushy, flirty way. Would I actually be able to have a relationship with him?” Soonyoung closed his mouth while Chan floundered a bit more.

“We can’t really tell you that,” Chan answered eventually. “We really only know what you’ve told us.”

“Well, and what he wants to share when I see him at the studio,” Soonyoung added. The other two froze and turned to the puffball of winter clothes.

“The studio?” Junhui parroted. “He is at the studio?” Soonyoung nodded and Junhui rocketed out of his seat, hands clenching Soonyoung’s jacket tightly. “Why didn’t you tell me that, you bastard?!” Chan was frantically trying to wriggle himself in between his two friends before one was dead and the other ended up in jail. “He dances?! You didn’t bother to tell me that?” Soonyoung was exaggerating his choking sounds and letting his tongue hang out of his mouth.

“Junhui-” Chan called, hitting his chest while simultaneously kicking him in the shins. He was short; it was the best he could do. “Junhui, they’re looking!”

“I don’t care who is looking, Chan. I’m too busy strangling this traitor-”

“Minghao is looking, you dumbass!”

Oh.

Junhui dropped Soonyoung and sat back down in his seat, shrinking to be as small as he possibly could. Soonyoung coughed and dramatically made dying sounds while Chan smacked him and told him to get himself together. Minghao, Mingyu, and Jeonghan were on the edge of the field, staring up at the trio at the top of the bleachers.

“I’m going to die. I’m actually going to die,” Junhui muttered to himself. He covered his face with his hands, peeking out from between his fingers only to find Soonyoung standing and waving to the three cheerleaders on the field.

“Stop being so dramatastic, Junhui,” Soonyoung told him after he sat down again. “They're not even looking anymore.” Junhui resisted the urge to flick his best friend in the forehead and tried to blend in with the bleachers for the first half of the football game.

“Junhui can you go get pizza from the food stand?” Soonyoung asked at halftime. Junhui groaned.

“Why can't you get it yourself?” It was halftime, so everyone was getting up to grab food and Junhui had no desire to wait in line for ten minutes to get a measly piece of pizza that wasn't even for himself.

“Because I don't want to and who would I be if I didn't use my best friend as a servant?” Soonyoung answered, without blinking. Junhui sighed.

“Friendship is just consensual bullying,” he muttered to himself as he got up.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Junhui carefully made his way down the bleachers and walked over to the concessions stand. He stood in line and pulled his phone out, not really paying attention until he was at the front where he ordered a slice then promptly forgot that he didn't have money on him.

“Shoot, I forgot to grab the money from my friend…” Junhui told the man sheepishly. The man looked annoyed and was about to take the pizza back when a voice came from beside Junhui.

“I'll pay for it,” Minghao said, his voice soft and cute. “Just add that to my normal.” The man nodded and gave Junhui the pizza again. Junhui nodded in return, though he was sure he looked incredibly dumb. He turned to walk away before cringing and looking to Minghao.

“Uh, thank you so much,” Junhui said. Minghao smiled. “No, really, thank you. You didn't have to do that and I really-”

“Hey man, it was just a piece of pizza. Don't worry about it,” Minghao told him, cutting off Junhui’s long winded apology. Junhui could feel his face burning and he turned on his heel, running away.

“Why do you look terrified?” Chan asked when he returned. Junhui shoved the pizza into Soonyoung’s hands and shrugged.

He couldn't believe he had acted like such an idiot in front of Minghao. Minghao was actually alone for once. He should have taken the chance to talk to him, introduce himself, start a conversation. Instead, he had stuttered like an idiot and creeped Minghao out by profusely thanking him. Part of him hoped that Minghao had barely seen his face, so he wouldn't remember him and then he would still have a chance to make a good first impression, but Junhui knew he wouldn't be that lucky.

After he (barely) survived the football game, the weekend was spent hiding in his room. Unlike extroverts like Soonyoung, Junhui could camp out for a couple days in his house without contact with anyone except his family, and he only saw them to get food, without any problem. Most of the weekend was spent listening to music and writing: songs, stories, whatever came to him. He had completely recharged his introvert batteries in time for school that Monday.

Of course, with the always excited extrovert Soonyoung as his best friend, Junhui wasn’t going to be able to escape the events of last Friday’s game.

“Minghao asked me why I got choked at the game on Friday when he saw me at the studio this weekend. I told him that you were my friend and that it was how you displayed affection,” Soonyoung told him in homeroom as Junhui slipped into his seat. Junhui groaned.

“I already acted like an idiot in front of him. I don’t need you to help,” Junhui told him.Soonyoung snorted. Junhui’s heart sank and the same words that he had used to beat himself up when Minghao bought pizza for him ran through his head once again.

“Why don’t you talk to him?” Soonyoung said. If Junhui had a dollar for every time Soonyoung and Chan had said that to him, he’d be able to afford that damn pizza slice a couple hundred times over.

“Ok fine,” Junhui responded. He was tired of hearing it, so he might as well humor Soonyoung for the last couple minutes of homeroom. “What would I even talk to him about?”

“‘Hey buddy, I think you’re cute. What do you think about asphyxiation?’ would make a great conversation starter,” Soonyoung answered, obviously still bitter about last Friday.

“Could you please let that go? My hands were anywhere near your throat, you over excited rodent,” Juinhui quipped, rolling his eyes and sinking back into his seat. He knew this conversation would go nowhere.

“I mean, you both dance. You could ask him about that,” Chan suggested.

“I don’t really dance anymore though,” Junhui frowned. “Not since I got injured.”

“You’re still a dancer at heart though. You could still have a pretty good conversation out of it.”

“What if he asks why I’m talking to him? Doesn’t walking up to him and randomly asking him about dancing seem a little awkward? I feel like he is going to question it.” Junhui sighed. He knew that he would certainly question someone if they came up and out of the blue started asking him about his interests. There was no common ground between him and Minghao. It wouldn’t work.

“I mean you could, and stick with me here, I know this could be a revolutionary thought,” Chan began, very obviously mocking Junhui by waving his hands in grandiose statement, “just tell him the truth!”

“The truth?” Junhui deadpanned. “‘Hi, Minghao! I dance and you dance too and I want to talk about it because I also really want to hold your hand and date you!’ That will go over so well.”

“Well, I wouldn’t really phrase it like that,” Chan snapped back. “God, you’re hopeless. If you don’t try nothing will ever happen.”

“Hey, you don’t really have anything to lose,” Soonyoung chimed in. “I mean, you yourself said how nice he is, so if he rejects you, then it’s not like your life will be over, and you don’t really have a social life for the cheerleaders to kill-”

“Thanks, best friend.”

“-so you might as well go for it, Soonyoung finished. Junhui was quiet for a second, chewing on the edge of his lip as he thought. He supposed that Soonyoung had a point. He really didn’t have anything to lose, which made the only possibilities neutral or better than what he had now. Sure, rejection would hurt, but it would fade and Junhui could handle it. Probably. He hoped. It had to be better than the pining state he was in now, right?

“Maybe I will talk to him then…” Junhui decided, sitting up straighter in his chair as if just making the decision to talk to Minghao had given him more confidence and energy.

“Great, ‘cause you have english with him next!” Chan said, clapping Junhui on the shoulder before dashing out of homeroom with Soonyoung in tow as the bell rang. English was always hard for Junhui because he sat in a desk right behind Minghao and has to look at him and be reminded of his unrequited crush the entire class. Now he was going to sit behind Minghao and be reminded that he had to talk to him and be honest the entire period.

Oh joy.

Junhui kept his head down as he sat down in his usual seat for English. They were reading Hamlet, which was one of Junhui’s absolute favourite books, but he could hardly be excited about it when he was so nervous about forcing himself to talk to Minghao this period.

The boy in question plopped down in the seat in front of him, dropping his backpack by his feet before ruffling through it. It seemed to be kind of messy because he couldn’t find what he was looking for. “Shit,” he cursed.

“What’s wrong?” Junhui asked before he could stop himself. Well, that’s one way to start a conversation he supposed.

“I just left my book at home,” Minghao told him, looking frustrated. “I know we’re reading it aloud but I only understand it when I follow along in the book.”

“Um..well you can share with me?” Junhui almost bit down on his own tongue when he was talking. God, he was so nervous. He felt like he was going to explode and like his words weren’t actually coming from his own mouth.

“Really? Thank you! You’re a lifesaver!” Minghao replied, scooting his desk back so that he could be next to Junhui to share the book. Junhui flipped it open and set it in between them as class started and Minghao caught sight of all his notes and annotations in the margins. Junhui began taking more as they moved through the scenes, not really thinking about Minghao next to him since he became too engrossed in the characters.

“You really like Shakespeare?” Minghao whispered inquisitively. Junhui jumped a bit in his seat, forgetting that he was there. Hamlet was having his third or fourth mental break down and Junhui was much to engrossed in analyzing his suicidal tendencies and motivations to remember Minghao was still, in fact, beside him.

“Oh um...yeah. I do.” Junhui could feel the slight blush on his cheeks. Minghao was probably realizing that he was an enormous nerd now and his chances were ruined. Not surprising. Most boys don’t find obsessive analyzing of Hamlet’s Oedipus complex very sexy. Junhui could understand that.

“That’s cool. I feel like I would like it a lot more if I could understand what the characters were saying,” Minghao admitted, looking a little frustrated.

“You just need to read it slowly,” Junhui told him. “Shakespeare is actually kind of a genius, especially in his insults.”

“How do you understand this stuff?” Minghao chuckled.

“Practice?” Junhui shrugged sheepishly. “I don’t know. I can help you if you want.”

“You would sit through helping a dumb cheerleader with Shakespeare?” Minghao teased goodnaturedly. Junhui’s cheeks were on fire, only just realizing what he had proposed. Tutoring. God, this was the most cliche romance novel, except it was happening in his own very real life. This was gross. And nerve wracking. Junhui was sweating.

“You’re not a dumb cheerleader. And I don’t mind at all,” Junhui mumbled, a bit more shy this time. He hoped Minghao didn’t think this was as cliche and creepy as he felt it was.

“I don’t have any study halls with you...do you mind meeting during lunch?” Minghao asked. Junhui almost choked on air. Lunch? With his idiot friends? Who can’t keep their mouths shut? That was definitely a disaster in the making.

“Yeah, that sounds fine,” Junhui whispered back. Why did he say that?

“Great!” Minghao said with a smile before he turned back to the book in front of them. Junhui only had half his effort being sent to into taking notes in the margins of Hamlet. He was too distracted by the fact that he just had a conversation with Xu Minghao. He even made plans to see him again. So what if he didn’t necessarily “tell the truth” like Chan and Soonyoung had suggested? This was progress.

 

“Can you guys not be stupid for like one lunch period?” Junhui asked as he sat down and opened up his packed lunch. Soonyoung looked up from where he was stuffing his face with grapes, mouth full, and Chan frowned.

  
“What do you mean stupid?” Chan asked at the same time Soonyoung tried to respond as well and a grape popped out of his mouth. He chased it as it rolled down the table.

“Minghao is eating lunch with me today so that I can help him with reading Shakespearean english and I need you two to not be dumb and not mess this up for me,” Junhui explained. God, his friends needed to understand his situation faster. Minghao could show up any minute.

“Relax dude,” Soonyoung told him now that his mouth was free of grapes. “He already knows I’m an idiot from dance and he doesn’t mind there. I’m sure he won’t judge.”

“That was…kind of nice and reassuring,” Junhui responded, a bit stunned. “Who are you and what did you do with my sarcastic and dumb friend?”

“I have told you before that I can be philosophical sometimes! God, I am so completely underappreciated and bullied in this relationship-”

“What is he on about now?” Minghao asked. He sat down in the seat next to Junhui and watched Soonyoung rant a bit apprehensively. This was just starting off splendidly.

“We’re not really sure,” Chan replied. “We mostly ignore him.”

“I am offended-”

“I didn’t know you were friends with Soonyoung,” Minghao said specifically to Junhui.

“Yeah, we’ve been friends for a long time so I can’t really get rid of him at this point.”

“Like you would ever SURVIVE without me Mr. I-Pine-Over-Cheerleader-”

“You wanted me to help you with reading Hamlet?” Junhui asked Minghao while he pulled his book back out of his backpack. He shot Soonyoung a glare and Chan a pleading look. Chan rolled his eyes but got Soonyoung to shut up anyways.

“Yeah, I really don’t understand anything they’re saying,” Minghao admitted with a small laugh.

“That’s okay!” Junhui said quickly. He didn’t want Minghao to feel like he was the only one who ever struggled with Shakespeare. Old English was hard. “Have you tried watching a movie version of Hamlet while you follow along? Sometimes watching people act everything out actually helps you understand what they’re doing and saying.”

“I never thought of that,” Minghao replied.

“Look up the BBC version of Hamlet with David Tennant in it. It’s super good. A little intense, but it really helps you understand the play more,” Junhui explained.

“Okay,” Minghao nodded, seeming to be a bit more confident in himself now. Junhui smiled at him, glad that he managed to help him at least a little bit, before he launched into everything they did in class that day. He easily tuned out Soonyoung and Chan in the background. Minghao was nodding attentively and even smiling and giggling at some of the remarks that Junhui made about the characters.

“Can we do this again? This actually helped me a lot,” Minghao told Junhui as they were gathering their things. The bell had rung and they were on to their next classes.

“Um-” Junhui stuttered. Holy shit, Minghao was asking him to meet up. It was still school work, sure, but he was asking to meet up!! Junhui’s heart was doing backflips. “Yeah. I eat lunch at the same table every day so just come over whenever you need to.” Minghao nodded and waved goodbye before they parted ways.

Junhui sighed to himself and wrapped his arms tightly around his copy of Hamlet to hug it to his chest excitedly. He ended up being late, the halls clearing out, and he danced to his next class excitedly.


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minghao and Junhui go on a date. Sort of. Not really. Ok, not at all but let Junhui dream and panic like the little gay boy he is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shit is heating up my friends 
> 
> yell at me on twt: @flowerboydino

Now, when Jumhui said Minghao could come to sit with him at lunch to go over Shakespeare any time he wanted, he certainly didn’t expect Minghao to come sit for the entire lunch period with them everyday. It caught Junhui off guard every time Minghao sat down in the seat next to him. He always had his home cooked meal and his own copy of Hamlet to jot down notes in. 

Despire Junhui having to pinch himself every day at lunch (he was starting to get a bruise on his arm), he enjoyed when Minghao sat with them. He was kind and funny and everything Junhui had built him up to be in his mind after his long time pining. Honestly, most of the time he was so focused on Minghao, he forgot that Soonyoung and Chan were even there. 

Minghao sat down beside Junhui once again, just like he had for the last week or two. Junhui felt his heart stutter but he didn’t show any outward signs of surprise (he hoped). 

“Minghao!” Jeonghan-oh my god Jeonghan- was walking towards their table, waving his arm at his friend. Chan seemed calm but Soonyoung started batting his eyelashes at the pretty cheerleader and Junhui wanted nothing more than to dive under the table and hide. He could barely comprehend the fact that he had one cheerleader sitting next to him, who was his crush to boot, and now Jeonghan, followed by Mingyu, was coming near him as well? His introverted, nerdy personality couldn’t handle this much stress at one time. 

“Hey, Jeonghan!” Minghao replied, all bubbly and cheerful and sweet and smiley and kind and-he’s getting off topic. “What’s up?” 

“Why are you sitting over here? We never see you at lunch anymore,” Jeonghan began. Junhui realized that if he was ignoring his own friends because he was working on Shakespeare with Minghao, the other boy was probably doing the same. 

“I’ve just been working on English with Junhui,” Minghao explained. “You know I struggle with that.” He seemed so calm and collected, like he hadn’t been ditching his friends for a week or two. 

“I mean...I get that but you don’t have to spend every day here. Come sit with us and the rest of the team,” Jeonghan requested. “You will be fine if he only helps you a couple days with English.” 

Minghao bit his lip, glancing back at Junhui behind him. Chan and Soonyoung were inconspicuously keeping their eyes on anything that wasn’t the interaction in front of them, for once. “You should go,” Junhui told him. “Don’t ditch your friends for Shakespeare. Even I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he joked. Minghao cracked a smile and nodded, waving goodbye and promising to eat with them another day as he left with his friends. 

“Does this mean you’ll actually pay attention to us now?” Chan asked. Junhui felt a little guilty for practically ignoring his friends while Minghao had been sitting with him. 

“I’m sorry, guys. I just...can’t seem to focus on anything else when he’s around,” Junhui admitted. It was true. He could never tear his eyes away from Minghao and the cute furrow of his brow as he concentrated and his beautiful hands as he scribbled down all the notes. Even the little curly swirls he dotted his I’s with in his handwriting were adorable. 

“Oh we know,” Soonyoung said, snapping Junhui out of his daydream. “‘Wow, Minghao, that’s a great analysis. You’re right on target. You’re so good at this you barely even need my help! You’re beautiful-what? I meant the writing is beautiful haha yeah!’” Soonyoung leaned forward on his hands, mocking Junhui’s dreamy look and lovesick eyes. 

“You’re an ass,” Junhui replied, batting Soonyoung away from crowding his personal space. He knew that his friend wasn’t wrong but it was a bit embarrassing to have it shoved back in his face. He really hoped Minghao didn’t notice all of Junhui’s lingering gazes and compliments. That would probably make him uncomfortable and then any slim chance Junhui might have had would be destroyed.

“God, Junhui, there’s so much more to me than my ass. I have a personality and a di-” 

“Just don’t ignore us, man, so Soonyoung doesn’t go on these stupid rants,” Chan groaned. Junhui agreed with a small laugh. Damn, he had good (yet annoying) friends. 

 

“What does this word mean?” Minghao asked, leaning back and pointing to the word in his book. 

“Visage?” Junhui whispered back. “It means face or appearance. Like, I gazed on your beautiful visage.” Junhui couldn’t help himself as he did just that. Something about Minghao looked extra excited and glowing that day. 

“Oh!” Minghao nodded. “That makes a lot more sense. Sometimes I miss basic words you guys got growing up.” 

“What does that mean?” Junhui asked. Growing up? Didn’t Minghao grow up with the rest of them? He should probably know these words too. 

“My dad is an immigrant from China so I’m first generation and I don’t speak a single word of english at home,” he explained. “So every bit of english I’ve learned has been from friends or school.”

“Oh, so that’s why Shakespearean english is so hard for you?” Junhui asked, even though Minghao had already confirmed his answer. That made more sense. Minghao was smart and once words were explained to him, he picked up on Hamlet without a problem. If he didn’t know what common english he could equate it to, he would have no idea what the story was trying to say. Junhui admired Minghao even more, if that was even possible, for working so hard. Plus, speaking two languages was hot (sue him). 

Minghao nodded and turned forward again in his seat, only to whip back around again a few seconds later. “Are you coming to the game tonight?” 

“Um, yeah!” Junhui had absolutely no plans to go to the football game that night until that very second, but Minghao didn’t have to know that. 

“Great!” Minghao grinned and turned back to his seat for the remainder of the class. 

It looked like Chan and Soonyoung were going to have to suck it up and go to the game with him again. They weren’t to happy when Junhui asked (read: begged) them to come but he had good friends and they allowed themselves to be dragged along through his awkward agony.

Junhui rushed out of school and drove himself home so he could shower (he thought he smelled himself earlier that day and wow was that an awful stench of teenage boy) and eat quickly before the game that night. He hoped to slip in and out of the house without running into anyone, but he’d never had that much luck. 

“Junhui!” His mother called down the hallway. Junhui skidded to a stop, cringing before he plastered on a neutral face, not happy but not angry or sad, and turned back to his mother. 

“Hey, mom,” he answered. 

“What are you doing?” She asked him. Junhui bit the inside of his cheek and aggressively stamped down the bile and guilt he felt bubbling in his stomach. 

“I’m just grabbing something to eat before going to the game.” His mother looked a little confused, a little sad, but tried and failed to mask it with a false bright smile. 

“Oh! I didn’t know there was a game tonight!” She said. “Have fun!” Junhui forced himself to nod and continued on his way, passing the kitchen completely on his way out the front door. He wasn’t hungry anymore. He knew that he was pushing his parents away but they never seemed to make an effort to repair their relationship in anyway. He wasn’t going to put effort into something he would never receive anything from in return. It hurt, but Junhui got over it. Totally. He was fine. 

He texted Chan to let him know he was on his way to pick him up and requested one of his dad’s peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Chan swore by them and called it “heaven on bread”. Junhui thought Chan was a little over enthusiastic but he did admit they were delicious. 

“Didn’t want to eat at home?” Chan asked as he fell into the passenger’s seat and handed Junhui a plastic wrapped sandwich, cut diagonally. Chan’s dad had cut Junhui’s sandwich like this since they were six. Junhui shook his head and chomped into the sandwich with one hand on the steering wheel. Chan stayed silent about Junhui’s escape from his own house. He never commented on Junhui’s deteriorating relationship with his parents, but Junhui wasn’t sure if it was because he didn’t know how to approach the subject or if it was because Chan couldn’t see a solution either. Maybe both. What a great friend. 

“Soonyoung can’t come,” Chan said when they were pulling into the school parking lot. Junhui frowned. 

“Why not? He said he could come earlier today.” 

“I don’t know. He just said he couldn’t make it. Maybe he didn’t want to watch you pine for a yet another Friday night,” Chan shrugged. “I don’t blame him.” 

“I don’t pine!”

“I cannot believe you’re actually arguing with me right now given that you were drooling over him during lunch yesterday.”

“I was drooling over the succulent mac and cheese.” 

“You’re lactose intolerant and succulent is a disgusting word” 

Junhui cut off the conversation by climbing out of the car and starting towards the bleachers, forcing Chan so catch up behind him. “What if this is all I ever get?” Junhui asked his friend while he trained his eyes on the ground, half out of bashfulness and half because he was avoiding muddy puddles from the rain the night before. 

“What? Do you want lactose intolerance and diabetes or something?” 

“With Minghao, you dipshit!” Junhui groaned. A group of girls passed them and he bit his tongue, hoping that they hadn’t heard. The last thing he needed was a bunch of white girls fetishizing his gay crush so he hoped to avoid this getting out to the rest of the school. The sky was just barely dimming with the beginning of fall and the air was crisp with falling leaves and brisk air. The pair of friends climbed up the metal bleachers on the side of the field. 

“Oh!” Chan nodded. “You’re afraid you’ll just stay in this awkward friends-but-not-really-I’m-just -his-tutor relationship?” Junhui nodded. Great, blunt little guy, Chan was. “Well, you should do something about it then.” 

“Do something about it?” Junhui scoffed.

“Yeah.” Chan shrugged like he was talking about something as simple as trying out a new brand of peanut butter. “Ask him out. Tell him you like him. Do something!”

“I feel like he’d be so uncomfortable around me if I told him that though,” Junhui admitted. “Shit this seat is wet!” Chan laughed at him as Junhui tugged his jacket down to cover the damp spot on his butt. They borrowed a towel from the family in front of them who were obviously a lot more prepared than they were before they sat down on dry bleachers. 

“Well, just don’t make it sound creepy,” Chan said. “Tell him you think he is really sweet and you want to go on a date and see how things go.” Junhui hummed, staying silent. He supposed that might be easy...there was still a significant chance that Minghao would outright reject him no matter what but at least he wouldn’t be doing something like straight up professing his long time crush or something...ha...yeah that’d be embarrassing. “Lighten up, Junbug,” Chan told him, nudging his shoulder and using an old childhood nickname. Junhui’s chest tightened up. “You’re overthinking this. It’s a date, not a marriage proposal.” 

“Holy shit, I’m more afraid of marriage than I am of death,” Junhui gasped, dropping his head into his hands, staring at the bleachers between his feet. 

“Oh my god, calm down, idiot!” Chan laughed, patting his friend’s back a bit to hard. “You’re actually a really great guy. Don’t put yourself down so much.” Junhui took a deep breath. They messed around a lot and were very rarely serious, but when it came down to it, Chan was the best friend Junhui had ever had. He was more mature than he let on, which was really helpful for Junhui in situations like these. Chan was practically reading his mind where he was convincing himself that he wasn’t good enough for Minghao.

“Okay…” Junhui sighed, sitting back up and looking forwards to the field again. “Okay, everything is fine.” 

“Not everything has to be fine-”

“-all the time,” Junhui finished. “I know. But really, everything is fine.” Chan looked a bit skeptical, but he knew better than to push the topic when Junhui was nervous and already snapping at him a bit. 

“Hey!” Minghao was clambering up the bleachers towards them, already in his cheer uniform with his cute little orange top and blue stripes down the sides of his pants. Junhui’s brain short circuited. 

“Shouldn’t you be on the field or something?” He asked. He probably should have greeted Minghao in return, smiled maybe, but his brain to mouth connection was quickly deteriorating in his love sick state. 

“I don’t have to be down there for a few more minutes. I have time to say hi and stuff before Jeonghan kicks my ass,” Minghao chuckled. He glanced at the bleachers but obviously thought to not sit down and get his uniform all wet. Junhui awkwardly shifted in his seat. He felt kind of rude sitting while Minghao had to stand. 

“Are you guys excited?” Minghao asked Junhui looked at Chan, hoping he knew what they were supposed to be excited about, but Chan looked just as clueless as he was. “If we win this game we go to states!” He was grinning and bouncing on his toes and Junhui’s heart hurt a little bit. 

“Oh that!” Junhui laughed, trying to cover up the fact that he knew absolutely nothing about football because apparently Minghao knew a lot more than he did and, shit, he was going to have to do some googling when he got home. “Yeah! I’m so pumped! I love watching the team go so far!”

 

“Liar,” Chan gasped. “You don’t give a shit about football!” Junhui turned to give his best friend his “shut-up-please” eyes, but Chan didn’t seem fazed, like normal. 

“But you’re at games all the time?” Minghao said questioningly, head cocking to the side in confusion. 

“Yeah, um…” Junhui stuttered. “The game is kinda...complicated?” God, he hoped it was a complex game if only to save his own ass. “It’s hard for me to understand.” 

“Ah, I see how the game could be a bit confusing if no one explained it to you,” Minghao agreed, nodding and smiling softly. Junhui thanked the heavens above that Minghao was too excited about the game to notice how shitty his excuse was. “If you want, you can come watch the game with us on Sunday and I can explain some of it to you.” Junhui was sure he was dreaming. Weren’t he and Chan just talking about this? But Minghao had beaten him to it! Sort of. Not really. Sort of!

“Um...who’s us?” Junhi asked nervously. The part of his brain that wasn’t rendered useless by Minghao’s sweet smile still managed to catch that little bit: “us” instead of “me”. 

“Jeonghan, Mingyu, and a couple guys from the football team. A couple of them bring their boyfriends and girlfriends too, so there might be a couple random people too,” Minghao explained with a shrug. 

“Well…” Junhui swallowed. He supposed that he could go over there and there was a slim, very slim, chance that he could have a good time and become friends with Minghao. It might even reveal more chemistry between them if Junhui could play his cards right. He didn’t exactly want to get his hopes up but you couldn’t blame him for being a delusional little gay twink, right? The worst that could happen was that he would make some social blunder, all of Minghao’s friends would think he was a social abomination and his chances with his crush would be absolutely destroyed. No big deal!

“If you’re going to be there, then I’ll be there too!” Junhui said, forcing a smile as anxiety swirled in his gut. He hoped the shock of his own words didn’t register on his own face. Minghao grinned. 

“I can’t wait. I can give you a ride if you want?” Junhui nodded, not being able to say anything else past the lump in his throat, which was dumb because he had his own car and now Minghao was going to drive him and what the fuck? “Perfect. I’ll see you later!” He waved, gave Chan a little bit of an awkward acknowledgement beside Junhui before jogging gracefully down the steps of the bleachers and heading off to meet the rest of his cheer squad. 

Junhui turned to Chan, eyes wide, panicked, and confused. Chan just shrugged.   
“I have to go to a football game. With sporty people. And my crush,” Junhi said out loud. Chan nodded. 

“Well, I mean this means he definitely sees you as more than his tutor?” Chan offered. 

“I’m so fucked.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want friends so yell at me on twt: @flowerboydino


	3. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhui gets a ball to the face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suzi, once again, is my muse. 
> 
> Yell at me on twt: @flowerboydino 
> 
> Also this chapter was about 1000 words longer than my goal for these chapters so surprise!! I can’t believe I did this in a week when I’m normally so inconsistent with update lol

“I am going to have a fucking stroke at age 18,” Junhui said, pacing in circles around his room. He could see Chan rolling his eyes on his little phone screen that he had propped up on his window sill. Soonyoung mocked Junhui in a high pitched voice from where he was laying on Junhui’s bed. 

“You’re going to want to put pants on if you’re going to have a stroke. Being half naked when the ambulance arrives would be quite embarrassing,” Chan said, voice sounding dingy through the phone speakers. He was in his own bedroom a couple blocks away, grounded for the weekend because he had talked back to his parents Friday night after the game. HIs smart mouth was just a little too loose sometimes. 

“I told him he should wear his nice black skinny jeans but he said he doesn’t want to seem like he was making too much of an effort,” Soonyoung said. He seemed like he didn’t give a flying fuck about his panicked friend since he was seemingly engrossed with his phone screen but both of his friends knew that Soonyoung was letting Junhui work through this on his own as much as he could; he always kept a watchful eye on his friends. 

“I don’t want to be to obvious! His friends will be there!” Junhui exclaimed, bordering on whining at this point. “His friends are going to be there so I need to make the right impression.”

“Okay, so what is your favourite pair of pants other than sweatpants?” Chan said. Junhui immediately pulled up a pair of blue skinny jeans that had holes at the knees. When he bought them they were simply distressed at the knees, but he had loved (read: worn them out) so much that they were really just holes now. He got tans just on his knees the previous summer from wearing them so much. “Wear those,” Chan told him. “And your Animaniacs tshirt.”

“Doesn’t that make me look like a nerd?” Junhui asked shyly. He loved his Animaniacs shirt, a cartoon he had grown up that his parents had loved in college. It was a little raunchy and probably not at all appropriate for an 8 year old Junhui to be watching but he loved it. His shirt was a cartoon of the rats, Pinky and the Brain, on worn white cotton. 

“No. It’s a good conversation starter, too,” Chan told him. Junhui nodded and dug around in the clean laundry basket his mother had dropped in his room that morning after they had been ashed. He never put his laundry away. He quickly changed and ran a brush through his hair (thank god he had taken a shower the night before). 

“So when he gets here what to you do?” Soonyoung asked Junhui. 

“Panic.” 

“No, that’s definitely not the answer.” 

“Scream.”  
“Still incorrect.”

“Say hi?” 

“Ding ding!” Chan chimed in from Junhui’s phone. “We have a winner.” 

“And what do we do next?” Soonyoung guided Junhui. 

“He drives me to his place and I smile and wave hi to people awkwardly,” Junhui recounted, definitely dropping a bit of attitude into his voice. “Then I force myself to take deep breaths whenever I feel the urge to run the hell out of the house because social stuff is scary.”

“Relatable!”

“Fuck off. And everything will be fine and Minghao drives me home afterwards. Right?”

“Right.” Both Soonyoung and Chan spoke in unison. 

“Right,” Junhui repeated, nodding to himself. He unplugged his phone from the charger. “Byebye, Chan. I’ll panic text you later.” 

“Bye, Junbu-”

“I can’t believe he still calls you that,” Soonyoung muttered, probably to himself, but Junhui overheard him. 

“I can’t get him to stop, no matter how many times I ask him to,” Junhui whispered. He felt a pang in his chest, an uncomfortable little twisting feeling right below his sternum that he had grown quite familiar with. He was familiar with it, not fond of it. 

There was a moment’s pause, a silent little freeze that both of them felt but refused to acknowledge the meaning of. The sun kept moving across the sky as noon hit and Junhui’s parents kept bustling with their heads tucked downstairs. The birds kept chirping outside while Minghao pulled into the driveway and Junhui was ripped violently out of his traumatized subconsciousness. 

Junhui’s phone dinged with a text from Minghao to let him know that he had arrived. “Bye! Wish me luck!” He gave Soonyoung a quick little side hug before he rushed down the stairs, out the door, and into Minghao’s passenger side. 

“I didn’t realize you were that excited about a football game,” Minghao joked. Junhui leaned back in the chair, chest heaving with his little sprint. Apparently he had wanted to break away from that moment much more than he had realized. He had literally sprinted away from his past and into Minghao’s car. 

“Um yeah,” he laughed awkwardly. “Super excited. Ready to see goals.” 

“Touchdowns.”

“Right.” 

“You are only half here,” Minghao said. He had one hand on the steering wheel and what the fuck was he wearing an earring? What happened to the happy little cheerleader boy? He looked confident as hell (well Junhui supposed that he always looked confident, even in his cheerleading uniform), sexy as hell (also applied in said cheerleading uniform), and breathtaking (point still stands), but there was something about Minghao stealing side glances of him to make sure he was paying attention that made Junhui blush down to his toes. 

“Sorry. I really am excited. I’m just...out of it.” Junhui hoped the excuse would cut it. 

“Can I ask about it or would you rather not talk about it?” Minghao asked. 

“You don’t need to know about it. It’s fine,” Junhui replied. Minghao nodded and thankfully didn’t press. 

“So, just a warning, Jeonghan and his boyfriend are kind of touchy,” Minghao told Junhui. “Just ignore them because any reaction just eggs them on.”

“Oh...okay,” Junhui said. He would just treat them being touchy like it wasn’t there, like it wasn’t happening. It wouldn’t be too hard. He and his total of two friends weren’t around couples very much so he’d just act like normal, right? Right. 

“Also my dad kind of overdid it on the snacks so don’t feel obligated if he tries to shove them down your throat,” Minghao told him. He looked a bit embarrassed but Junhui, through his own bashfulness, found Minghao’s attempts to reassure him endearing. 

“No, worries.” They entered Minghao’s house and Minghao called out to his dad to let him know they had arrived before they headed down to a furnished basement. There was a soft chocolate brown carpet and colour-changing fairy lights around the edge of the ceiling. Lovingly worn bean bag chairs littered the room in front of a large screen TV mounted on the wall. There were various game systems on shelves below it and there was a cabinet off to the side that held what Junhui suspected were either snacks or card games. Maybe both. 

There was a table in the corner that was absolutely covered in food. Bread bowls, and cream puffs, and donuts, and entire bowls of chips.   
“My dad’s a baker,” Minghao explained when he saw Junhui’s face of awe. 

“He made donuts?!” Junhui asked. He didn’t even know that was a thing that could be made at home. 

“Yeah, they’re his latest obsession. Please eat some, because he’s going to ask your opinion very eagerly later.” Minghao yanked a bean bag chair forward and fell back into it. Junhui followed his lead and stiffly sat down in a bean bag chair near him. 

“I’ve never had a homemade donut before,” Junhui told him. He had to keep talking or else this would turn into an awkward silence that would just suffocate him and he would rather spontaneously combust than let that happen. 

“Really? My dad cooks stuff like that all the time. We make pretty much everything on our own,” Minghao explained. “We made everything on that table except for the chips.” 

“My parents don’t really cook. I kind of do that for myself,” Junhui responded. “We never eat together.”

“Really? My dad and I almost always eat together. It’s always been just us so maybe that’s why. We just ended up closer or something,” Minghao said thoughtfully. 

“Is your dad okay with...y’know,” Junhui said awkwardly. In the middle of his sentences he realized that this was probably rude to ask, and he and Minghao didn’t really even know each other that well and oh my god, he is committing a social sin but his mouth was moving too fast to stop himself. 

“With what?” Minghao asked, tilting his head to the side like he always did. 

“With um..being a cheerleader?” Junhui rushed through the last bit of the question and heard his own voice crack. 

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t he be?” Minghao didn’t seem offended, as far as Junhui could tell (oh god), and he didn’t seem angry (good lord), but he didn’t exactly seem happy (please god), so Junhi figured he was just waiting to see how bad Junhui was going to fuck up (have mercy). 

“It’s just...some dads...hypermasculenity...and gay stuff but I totally agree with it! I love your pompoms!” Minghao blinked. “I’m not making sense.” Minghao shook his head. “Some dads don’t want their sons to do ‘girly’ stuff which I think is dumb but I was just curious because cheerleading and stuff so-”

“You’re asking if my dad is supportive?” Minghao interrupted him. Junhui clamped his mouth shut and nodded. Damn, he was so good at english except for the times where it actually mattered. How cliche and ironic. “Yeah, he is. He’s pretty comfortable with ah...how did you put it? ‘Gay stuff’,” Minghao explained, chuckling. Junhui bent over burying his face in his knees and hugging his legs close. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled, muffled from where he talked into his jean. 

“It’s fine, though I don’t understand why you’re so nervous around me,” Minghao said. He looked relaxed and comfortable and like the opposite adjective of everything Junhui was currently feeling. 

“Because!” Junhui said, waving his hands in Minghao’s general vicinity. “And!” He shrugged. “Plus your friends are coming!” 

“My friends are going to love you.”

“Somehow, that generic line does not reassure me.” 

“I’m serious! If I like you, they will too,” Minghao said. 

I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you.

“I mean, I guess,” Junhui grumbled, cheeks tingling pink. He felt like a bashful little boy being called “cute” who responds “awe, shucks”. 

“Well, I know. I know my friends,” Minghao told him and Junhui had a hard time catching all the butterflies that were trying to escape from his chest. 

“Who’s coming?” Junhui asked. He forced himself to physically press out his legs so he wasn’t curled up in a ball of nerves on the beanbag chair. 

“Jeonghan and Seokmin, Mingyu, Seungcheol,” Minghao was counting on his fingers, “Seungkwan, and Joshua. Joshua and Mingyu might bring their partners but Wonwoo hates football and I still haven’t learned Joshua’s girlfriend’s name so…”

“You don’t know her name?” Junhui asked. 

“She’s just not…” Minghao paused thoughtfully. “I don’t know how to say this nicely.” 

“Please, don’t hold back because of me. I don’t care if you insult her.” 

“She’s just…” He paused again. “She has the emotional passion of a packing peanut.” 

“What?!” Junhui giggled. “A packing peanut?”  
“Yes!” Minghao said, giggling himself. “She isn’t passionate about anything. Everyone has something they get revved up about and she’s just...nothing!” 

“She has to have something,” Junhui said. “Politics?” Minghao shook his head. “Makeup?” Another shake. “Sports?” Shake. “Religion?” Yet another shake. “Something?”

“Nothing!” 

“I understand the packing peanut analogy now,” Junhui nodded.

“I think Joshua’s just with her so they can fuck,” Minghao said with a shrug. Junhui couldn’t mask his expression of surprise. “What?” 

“Isn’t Joshua like...church boy?” Junhui asked shyly, eyes trained on the floor. 

“Damn, you really do believe in stereotypes,” Minghao sighed. “I guess he is. But loving Jesus doesn’t mean you can’t get your dick wet.”

“I’m positive Jesus doesn’t teach that in the bible.” 

“Jesus was a wanderer in the desert for three years and stayed at random people’s houses all the time. Try to convince me he didn’t sleep around.” 

“Priests are keeling over in pain around the world.” Junhui was smiling. Apparently, Minghao was a little less of an innocent cheerleader than he had originally assumed. Junhui had to stop doing that. Minghao was still out of his league though, even is he was a little....rough and tumble than originally assumed. 

The front door slammed at the top of the stairs and then voices could be heard chattering excitedly down the stairs. 

“Minghao, we don’t let Seungkwan in,” Seungcheol said. He dropped a six pack of root beer (Junhui hoped) on the table of snacks and plopped down in his own beanbag chair like it was his own home. Though, if they did this every Sunday then he supposed that all these kids that just came barreling in would be pretty comfortable here. Junhui’s shoulders tensed up. 

“You can’t lock him out of the house every time he wears his Garoppolo jersey,” Minghao told his friend. Everyone else was taking their seats and Junhui watched carefully. Oh god, he hoped he wasn’t in anyone’s seat and they forced him to move. How cliche, how awkward,how embarrassing. 

“It’s a Patriots jersey! The Patriots are equal to shit in this house!” Seungcheol said. 

“You know he only wears it because he thinks he’s hot, so go let him in,” Minghao chuckled. “Also this is my house, not yours!” Seungcheol grumbled under his breath and muttered a couple threats that he hoped were directed towards the name on the jersey and not poor Seungkwan. “Guys, this is Junhui. Junhui, this is everyone,” Minghao said quickly. 

“Hey.”

“Hi.” 

“Sup!” Seungkwan yelled as he jumped of the last step and flashed Junhui some peace signs.

“Hello?” Junhui responded. 

“Stop, Seungkwan. You’re not butch. You’re flamboyant,” Seokmin said. He and Jeonghan were laying back on a couch that was tucked into the back corner. 

“So are you!” Seungkwan squeaked. 

“I’m aware!” 

“I’m perfect anyways.” 

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, darling,” Jeonghan muttered. 

“Who’s playing?” Joshua asked. He popped open one of the (root) beers on the edge of the table like he had done it a million times before. He probably had, Junhui realized. Wow, he felt out of place. 

“If it’s not the Steelers, who cares?” Seungcheol shrugged. Junhui watched Minghao roll his eyes. 

“Okay, we get it. You bleed black and gold,” Minghao told him. He got up (Junhui ignored the fact that he felt abandoned as soon as he did so) and grabbed the remote and flicked through channels until he found the game. “It’s the Browns and the Panthers.” A groan went through the room. 

“What’s wrong with the Browns and the Panthers?” Junhui whispered to Minghao once he sat down beside him again. 

“Eh. The Browns have lost all but one game they’ve played for the last two or three years. And the Panthers are actually a pretty decent team so the game is going to be pretty boring. We’ll probably talk through most of it until the next game starts at 4:30,” Minghao explained. 

“Why are the Browns so bad?” Junhui asked. 

“Their coaching staff sucks, they have a shitty quarterback-”

“Which one is the quarterback? 

“The one that throws the ball,” Seungcheol answered. “Didn’t you ever watch football with your parents growing up or something?” 

“My dad isn’t really into sports,” Junhui answered. His brain was short circuiting. He was talking to Seungcheol, the school quarterback (he knew what that was now) while sitting in his crush’s basement with a bunch of other cheerleaders and football players. 

“Do you have a mom?” Mingyu asked. The lanky kid hadn’t even bothered to find a proper seat, instead sprawling out on the floor in front of the TV. Junhui nodded in response. 

“What about her? My mom taught me everything I know about football,” Seungcheol told the room. 

“She doesn’t really watch sports either,” Junhui answered. 

“I can’t imagine not watching football every Sunday,” Joshua said. He was tossing a football back and forth with Seungcheol across the length of the room. It looked natural and easy and wow, Junhui was with sporty people. He doesn’t think that ha ever happened to him before in his life. 

“Every family is different,” Minghao interjected. Everyone sort of half nodded and hummed in agreement. Seungcheol continued to throw the football back and forth with his eyes still trained on the screen. 

“Oh, this is just pathetic,” he sighed as the Browns through yet another interception. 

“So your family doesn’t watch football and you like Shakespeare,” Jeonghan said, turning the room’s attention back to Junhui. Seokmin’s hand was blatantly lying on Jeonghan’s upper thigh and Jeonghan was leaning back on Seokmin’s chest while playing with the fingers on Seokmin’s other hand. Junhui averted his eyes. Nothing to see there, nothing out of the ordinary! Haha. “Tell us something else about yourself?” 

“About me?” Junhui stuttered. “Ah, I’m not that interesting.” Suddenly, Junhui wished that they had had ice breaker activities so he could actually come up with something to say instead of floundering and having to figure out how to speak like a normal human being. He wasn’t very good at that. 

“You’re friends with that Chan kid, right? He’s cute,” Jeonghan hummed. Seokmin squeaked behind him and Jeonghan hushed him with a kiss that Junhui frankly felt completely uncomfortable watching, but who was he to stop a happy couple? Right?

“Yeah, he’s my best friend. Him and Soonyoung,” Junhui answered. 

“Soon!” Seokmin and Mingyu cheered. 

“Ah, he should come next week too. Maybe you can bring both your friends,” Minghao suggested. Junhui could just see his reputation (did he have a reputation with these people after 20 minutes?) crumbling before his eyes. He swore he could just hear Chan and Soonyoung telling his embarrassing stories in the back of his mind. He was hanging out with cool people (something in the back of his mind scoffed but he ignore it) and he wasn’t going to let his friends ruin what slim potential he had with this group of popular people. Or Minghao. 

“They don’t really like football either,” Junhui answered. 

“They’re always at the games with you though,” Minghao pointed out. 

“I, uh, drag them there. Against their will, honestly,” Junhui mumbled bashfully. Way to go! He sounded like a controlling, mean friend. 

“I do the same thing with Seokmin, but he normally comes after I bring up my ass in my cheerleading pants,” Jeonghan replied with a giggle. 

“Gross,” Minghao muttered. Junhui noted it in his mental “Minghao, the Love of My Life” folder. 

“I don’t really think that’s a motivator for Chan. Mabe Soonyoung,” Junhui told them. 

“Oh I see, Chan would be motivated by the football player’s asses,” Jeonghan said, nodding like he understood this random kid, that he had never met, and his motivations. “I respect that. Football pants are a blessing.” 

“How do you even know his sexuality?” Minghao scoffed. 

“Have you seen him?” Mingyu chimed in from the floor. His eyes glazed over from staring at the TV but he was apparently more aware than Junhui would have been. “He screams little fiesty twink.” 

“Stop stereotyping!” Minghao snapped. 

“Okay, okay!” Seungcheol laughed from across the room. “We get it! Just a reminder though that all stereotypes come from somewhere.”

“That doesn’t mean you should base everything off of them,” Minghao said with exasperation. They have obviously had this argument before, Junhui observed, judging from how everyone already seemed to know what was about to be said. 

“I know. But society and changes and origins of stereotypes, blah blah blah,” Seungcheol mocked. He caught the football from Joshua and turned to throw it at Minghao, and completely missed.

Junhui couldn’t bring his arms up to his face fast enough and he received a leather football to the center of his face. He groaned in pain and doubled over, holding his nose delicately while the entire room (minus the couple on the couch who were....preeoccupied and Mingyu who only raised his head) leapt to their feet. 

“Seungcheol, you fucking idiot!” Joshua hissed. Minghao was kneeling by Junhui and trying to get him to sit up. 

“C’mon, let me see,” Minghao told him and Junhui allowed himself to be guided up but he kept his hand on his nose. “Well, shit. Jeonghan, can you go get the first aid kit? And a roll of paper towels from the kitchen?”

“Yeah, I got it.” 

“You’re nose is bleeding,” Minghao told him. Junhui just cringed. 

“Sorry,” he replied, tilting his head back. Seungcheol had sat on his other side, looking quite guilty when MInghao shot him a glare. 

“You’re apologizing for getting hit in the face?” Minghao laughed. “That’s ridiculous. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Sorry?” Seungcheol offered instead. 

“It’s fine,” Junhui told him. “Unless you were purposely aiming at me, I’m not really worried about it.” Seungcheol smiled a little awkwardly and Junhui just patted him on the shoulder. Awkward bro taps. Nice and comforting. 

“You’re so ridiculous,” Minghao sighed. He began sorting through the first aid kit that Jeonghan had dropped beside him and he held a gauze up to Junhui’s nose and tilted his head forward. “I’m going to have to sit next to you now to make sure you don’t die before you leave my house.”

Seungcheol gave Minghao a questioning look. “Isn’t that a little excessive-”

“I’m going to have to sit next to him now,” Minghao stated. He gave his friend a quick glare and Seungcheol shut up. Junhui just kept his head down and nose buried in a gauze. He hoped he didn’t bleed through it and stain the carpet or the beanbag chair. Oh lord this was probably how people feel when they get their periods. This was awful. 

“You don’t have to…” Junhui muttered. He said it quietly because he really didn’t mind Minghao sitting closely beside him. His heart may explode, sure, but who cares? Minghao would be sitting next to him and caring for him. 

“I’m gonna anyways though,” Minghao said with a smile. Or at least what Junhui was pretty sure was a smile. He was having trouble seeing past the gauze.

“Oh. Thanks.” 

Yeah, Junhui was going to have stroke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are my motivators ;)


	4. IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhui has a rough day and Minghao helps out in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning of mentions of suicide (nothing graphic, in a side character) 
> 
> I promise this isn’t a shitty relatable suicide fic I would never do that. And this isn’t the main focus of the fic, just this chapter. 
> 
> Also thank you to Rose, my savior, for proofing the shit out of this. You’re a doll

“Sooooooooo?” Soonyoung questioned as he slid into his seat across from Junhui at the lunch table the following Monday. “How’d it gooooooo?”

“Well,” Junhui said, finishing his bite of good old microwavable Easy Mac. Cheap, processed, over-salted goodness. It probably wasn’t even real cheese but it was food and Junhui didn’t care. Delicious sodium filled cheesiness. “His friend almost broke my face.” 

“Intentionally? Honestly, I’ve been there too,” Chan piped up. 

“Getting your face broken?” Junhui asked. 

“No, wanting to break yours.” 

“Consensual bullying,” Junhui muttered, angrily stabbing the Easy Mac with his plastic fork. “No, Seungcheol was trying to throw a football to Minghao and he missed and his my face instead.” 

“Are you sure it was an accident?” Soonyoung asked. “I mean maybe he doesn’t like you.” 

“You guys are the most supportive friends ever!” Junhui snapped sarcastically. 

“I’m just saying!” Soonyoung defended himself, hands going up. 

“I mean...I don’t think so,” Junhui sighed. “He seemed pretty apologetic and it got Minghao to sit closer to me and take care of me so I wasn’t really all that angry…” 

“Oooooh! Minghao took care of little Junnie!” Soonyoung teased and Junhui let him for once, simply shoving him off lightly and without much conviction. “That’s so cute. Was there flirting?”

“Honestly, I don’t think I know how to flirt,” Junhui joked. He glanced over at Minghao, who was sitting with his cheerleading friends that day. Minghao had been so kind. He had made sure Junhui’s nose was okay and he had handed him snacks and taught him about football (he now knew what a touchdown was. That was progress). It was truly wonderful. Junhui couldn’t stop smiling, even though it hurt his nose. It was nice. He hoped it happened again. Maybe. If his luck stretched out. 

“Well, I can believe that,” Chan agreed. “On another note…Junhui, are you going to be here on Thursday?” He asked his question quietly, respectfully, and with a little bit of pity that made Junhui’s stomach flip uncomfortably. 

“Um, I think so? Why wouldn’t I be?” Junhui shrugged. He knew exactly why he wouldn’t be in school in a few days and he knew very well that there was no way he would make it through the school day even if he tried. He didn’t want to tell people that, even if they were his closest and most trusted friends. 

“Because Thursday is October 18th,” Soonyoung said. His tone seemed to be much more matter-of-fact than Chan’s and Junhui couldn’t decide if he liked it better or if he hated it more. 

“It’s been four years,” Junhui said. He was practically whispering but he couldn’t manage to force himself to speak any louder. His throat was almost completely blocked up. “I’ll be fine. I have to get on with my life at some point.” Soonyoung and Chan stole looks at each other that Junhui very intentionally ignored. He was fine, he didn’t need this empathetic pity, and he could get through his fucking day without crumbling into a mess. Right? Right...

“Hey guys!” Minghao slid into the seat beside Soonyoung, leaning forward on his elbows with a smile plastered across his beautiful face. “Oh.” His smile immediately disappeared and Junhui’s heart stuttered as he thought ‘Come back!’ “Am I interrupting something serious?” Minghao asked, glancing between the three friends. 

“No, not at all!” Junhui told him in a rush. Minghao probably was interrupting something that Chan and Soonyoung would consider serious, but Junhui wanted to escape that conversation as quick as he could and he just thanked the heavens above for Minghao’s existence on this green earth. 

“Okay, if you say so,” Minghao replied nervously. “I was just wondering if you guys wanted to come next Sunday for the game. I promise that getting hit in the face with a football isn’t a regular occurance.” 

“All three of us?” Junhui asked, gesturing to himself and his two friends. Minghao nodded. “Sure!” 

“Excuse me?” Chan deadpanned, face anything but amused. 

“Sounds fine to me.” Soonyoung shrugged. He was friends with Minghao, Junhui remembered, from dance so he probably felt comfortable going over to his house for football, though he was sure that Soonyoung knew even less about football than him. His best friend was a walking gay stereotype. 

“Great! Seungcheol still feels really bad, by the way,” Minghao said, turning to Junhui. “But your face really doesn’t look swollen! Which is good!” He seemed proud as if Junhui had accomplished something. It was cute. He was cute. What a cutie. Junhui was getting distracted. 

“Oh, that was just because you helped,” Junhui told him with a smile. “It’d probably be worse if you didn’t take such good care of me.” Chan made gagging noises in the background. 

“You’re such a sweet talker!” Minghao gasped playfully. “Just try not to get Seungcheol’s balls in your face in my house okay? That’s really offensive to a guy like me.” Minghao winked and turned on his heel, skipping back off to his own table of cheerleaders and football people.   
“A…” Junhui’s heart thumped in his chest and he was pretty sure that his eyebrows were raised so far in surprise that they were merging with his hairline. 

“‘I don’t know how to fliiiirt!’” Chan and Soonyoung mocked in hi-pitched, whiney voices. 

“Remember when you called Minghao an innocent, beautiful boy?” Chan laughed. “And now he’s winking at you?!” 

“Okay so you saw that too?” Junhui asked them. “It wasn’t just me imagining things?” Soonyoung and Chan both shook their head, assuring him that they had seen the wink Minghao had left with as well. “I’m going to pass out. In the school cafeteria. Here we go!” 

“What do you mean?” Soonyoung replied, rolling his eyes at his friends antics. “You were flirting right back with him! That’s probably why he was bold enough to wink at you in front of us, God, and everybody else.” 

“No, I wasn’t flirting with him,” Junhui said, denying because flirting was something that confident people do. Flirting was something that hot girls in skimpy tops do while they look up at a guy and twirl their hair around their finger. “I don’t flirt.” 

“Sure, Jan.” 

“I don’t! That’s just something lovestruck, whiney girls do,” Junhui protested. 

“Right,” Chan said. “Which you are, so flirting.” 

“I’m not some girl!” 

“Who knew a crush could make Junhui so misogynistic!” Chan said to his friend. Junhui clamped his mouth shut, realizing he was relying on a pretty awful stereotype. 

“Okay, you’re right. But flirting just seems...so far out of my own realm of reality? I guess?” Junhui slumped down in his seat, grabbing his fork just to pick at his food absentmindedly. “I’m just not the kind of person-”

 

“You’re you and I’m tired of this ‘kind of person’ bullshit,” Chan snapped. Soonyoung quickly shot a surprised glance at his two friends. Junhui held Chan’s gaze, not backing down. Chan was overreacting. Junhui was trying to talk to his friends in an honest way. Sure, he could have avoided using a stereotype of girls flirting, but Chan was really overreacting to the rest of it.Junhui was just trying to be realistic with himself. 

“I am being realistic.” Junhui voiced his thoughts with an even tone, trying not to let his frustration get the better of him. 

“You’re the only person I know who believes in these stupid stereotypes!” Chan groaned. 

“Stereotypes come from somewhere, Chan! Someone like me does not flirt! Someone like me does not watch football and hang out with people on the cheer squad. Someone like me does not go out with people like him!” Junhui could feel his blood simmering and his anger rising, filling his head with fire and his mouth with fury. He knew, he knew, that this was going to end badly, but he just couldn’t stop himself after gaining so much momentum down a dangerous hill. 

“If you believe in stereotypes that much, you wouldn’t have helped Yingyue so much before she died!” Chan snapped. 

Pop. There goes all that tightness in his chest. Just releasing and washing over him like a tidal wave. 

Junhui heard Soonyoung gasp across the table. 

The cafeteria chatter continued on behind them, loud and boisterous as always, but the table of three friends was absolutely silent. Junhui dropped his gaze, biting the inside of his cheek as he stood up from his seat, grabbing his lunch as he turned away. He shoved what he had left to eat into the trash (just a word choice thing- to suit the casual wording in the rest of this-im being picky feel free to ignore) and walked out of the cafeteria with his backpack swung over his shoulder. 

“You definitely could have done that with a little more tact,” Soonyoung said quietly to Chan, who had huffed but didn’t chase after Junhui as the pair watched him leave. 

“He needed to hear it. She would have hated to see him like this,” Chan replied. 

Soonyoung simply nodded in agreement. He didn’t know how to respond to that. 

Junhui didn’t stop walking until he reached his car and he drove home in complete silence. 

 

 

 

“What?” Junhui answered his phone as best he could from where he was curled around his pillow in his own bed. He hadn’t moved in the last 24 hours since he had left school abruptly. His parents didn’t really press the issue when he told them he was sick and staying home. It was October 15th. They didn’t really have the energy to. 

“Um, it’s Minghao? Chan said you would ignore my texts so I figured I’d try calling.”   
Junhui’s heart sunk. He honestly did not want to talk to Minghao right now because he simply did not have the energy to put up any kind of front for his crush. He should probably be cheerful or nice or something of that nature but Junhui was just so...drained that he couldn’t muster up the willpower to do so. 

“I uh, really don’t feel well? So talking isn’t the best,” Junhui told him instead. Blame it on an illness or something. Sure, that’ll work. Worked with his parents, and they were supposed to care about him the most, so it should probably work on some boy who barely knew him. 

“Are you sure? Chan said you were upset about something and we should talk? I’m not sure if you’d even want to talk to me and you don’t have to but...” Minghao trailed off. 

Junhui couldn’t help himself with this little window of opportunity. “But?” He sighed, probably sounding incredibly melancholy, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. 

“But I’m here for you if you do want to talk,” Minghao replied. There was a beat of silence before he continued. “You obviously don’t have to but I just figured I would put that out there. You can...you can trust me.”

There was silence on the phone while Junhui stared off into space and fiddled with the tag of his pillow between his fingers. Minghao could be heard breathing on the other end of the line, but he didn’t press, he didn’t push. 

“It’s going to be four years on Thursday,” Junhui whispered. He wasn’t even sure if the phone was going to pick up his voice and part of his brain wasn’t even sure if he has actually managed to say those words out loud. 

“What is?” Minghao asked gently. 

“She’ll be dead for four years. On Thursday.” 

“Oh,” Minghao replied softly. Junhui heard shuffling and a door closing before Minghao cleared his throat. “I didn’t realize it had been that long.”

Of course, of course Minghao knew exactly who he was talking about. It wasn’t that big of a town, wasn’t that big of a school and Yingyue had only been a grade below them. She and Junhui had always been incredibly close because they were practically the same age, one born right after the other. He had still been the big brother though. Had been. 

“Yeah,” Junhui said, trying to swallow past the enormous lump in his throat. 

“I admired her a lot.” 

“She was…” Junhui smiled and little pinpricks of tears formed at the corners of his eyes. “She was such a spitfire before everything set in. You should have known her when she was younger.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah. She was obsessed with animals. And every animal loved her, I have no idea why.” Junhui paused to take in a shuddering breath “When we were little we would go to this park down the street from our house. It’s not there anymore, I think.” Junhui focused on the tag of his pillow that was almost coming off from him tugging on it so much. “She would bring old stale bread from the house and feed all the wild squirrels and birds in the park.” The faintest trace of a smile made its way to Junhui’s face. It was quite a bittersweet smile. 

“She managed to feed squirrels?” Minghao repeated incredulously. 

“Out of the palm of her hand, I swear,” Junhui told him. “She didn’t go to the park much later even if I tried to convince her. I think she didn’t want to be around me.” 

“Why’s that?” 

“She just...shut me out,” Junhui told him. He had never talked about this with anyone but Chan or Soonyoung before and they were practically family. They went through the same pain as him. 

“When we were little we used to tell each other everything. We told each other what lies we told to our parents, what happened at school that day, what celebrity we thought was cute.” Junhui shook his head fondly. “We used to sneak into each other’s rooms at night so that we could sleep in the same bed and talk until we fall asleep every night. It drove my parents crazy,” Junhui chuckled and pushed himself up on a weak arm. He hadn’t even moved from his bed for food, and now he could feel the exhaustion and hunger creeping through his muscles. He squirmed enough to be sitting up with his back leaning up on the wall his bed was pushed against. 

“That’s cute,” Minghao told him. 

“When her anxiety started getting really bad and-” Junhui hated saying these things aloud. He always had to forced the words out of his mouth. “-and the depression started to get worse she just...didn’t talk to me anymore. She didn’t tell me things. She never snuck into my room and she wouldn’t let me sneak into hers. I think I cried the entire night when she locked me out for the first time.” 

“When was this?” 

“Oh I was like...12? Maybe,” Junhui answered. “So she was about 11.”

 

“That’s so young…” Minghao whispered. 

“I know.” It was silent for a moment. “She was only 14.” 

“I remember.” 

“I thought that when she,,,I thought-” Junhui cut himself off. Tears were leaking freely at this point and he could taste the saltwater running over his lips and getting stuck on the underside of his chin. He didn’t want to be sobbing on the phone and have Minghao hear his breath quiver, but he couldn’t seem to calm himself down. 

“Take your time, Junhui. You don’t need to rush in talking to me,” Minghao told him and Junhui nodded his head. Minghao couldn’t see him but there was no way he was getting a word out through his tears. 

“I thought the day she killed herself was the worst day of my life,” Junhui said, finally successful in just spitting the goddamn phrase out on the third try. “But everything afterwards has been so much worse.” 

“It’s the worst feeling ever,” Minghao said. 

“I can’t even describe it to you,” Junhui told him as he breathed out a sigh, because he really couldn’t. He couldn’t explain the heartbreak, the shattering of every fiber of his being that occurred when his little sister, his baby sister killed herself on October 18th. It was the awful feeling of his body retching after he had thrown up and had nothing left to give, except the feeling was constant and never faded. 

“That’s okay.” 

“I hate being known as the boy with the dead sister though,: Junhui admitted. “Everyone at school knows it.”

“You’re your own person though. I think they know you more as the Shakespeare nerd. Or as part of your trio,” Minghao replied. 

“Trio?” 

“Yeah, you, Soonyoung, and Chan.” 

“Oh,” Junhui chucked sadly. “Yeah I hope so.”

The conversation fell between them. It didn’t necessarily die, Junhui still felt MInghao there, just existing with him and he didn’t feel pressured to try and make some sort of conversation. They just...breathed. Junhui just sat on his bed and listened to Minghao breathe from the shitty little phone speaker and clothed his eyes and...breathed.

He felt like he hadn’t done this in ages, like he hadn’t had his lungs full of air in years but in that moment, he was able to let his chest rise and fall with ease. No exertion, no struggle. Just breathing. It felt nice. Maybe this was what it was like to live without a knot sitting tight in his chest. Junhui had forgotten how it felt; it had been so long. He hoped it wasn’t temporary. 

“Hey Junhui?” Minghao piped up, voice still gentle, never prodding to aggressively. 

“Mmm?” 

“Do...you want to go visit her grave with me?” 

The knot in his chest was back again. 

“Why?” He choked out. Why would he ever want to subject himself to that? Why would he try to face the source of such great pain and anguish and horror in this life more than he already had? More than was absolutely necessary? 

“I feel like I should. I want to visit her,” Minghao explained. “And I want you to come with me.” 

“I don’t…”Junhui struggled to find the right words. “Can we...later?” 

“Of course. You’re in no shape to go right now,” Minghao answered. Junhui sniffled as if to confirm his point and Minghao laughed softly. “Exactly.” 

“I..I will but later? I guess I should. It’s been four years…” 

“I’m not forcing you. You can tell me no, darling.” 

Darling? 

“Oh um..,” Junhui stuttered. “No I want to. I want to go, and I want you to be there, but...later.” 

“Then I’ll be ready to go when you are.” 

“Okay.” 

“Okay.” 

“Okay.” Junhui grinned, his first real smile in a day or two. 

“This is very John Green,” Minghao replied. “We’re a walking cliche. A cheerleader and a nerd.” 

Junhui laughed, hoping he didn’t sound guilty. Or nervous. Or awkward. Or completely raw from the emotional dump he had just unleashed. Oh lord… “Is that bad?” He asked. 

“No!” Minghao said quickly. “It’s not like we’re the normal cheerleader and nerd either. Stereotypical nerds are uglier and not quite as charismatic. And I guess cheerleaders usually aren’t boys who wear leather jackets and ride motorcycles.” 

“I mean...you got me there,” Junhui admitted. Maybe they weren’t as awful of a trope as he had originally thought. Maybe Chan had some truth to his words, even if he was being a dick about it. Maybe. (Only maybe. Junhui wasn’t ready to admit he was wrong quite yet).

**Author's Note:**

> Comments motivate me to write more faster;)
> 
> Come yell at me on twt: @flowerboydino


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